6 Things I Do When Life Isn’t Going as Planned
Don’t make life harder than it needs to be by resisting it.
I cannot tell you how many times I have had my life perfectly planned and it went in a complete opposite direction. It’s hard. It’s frustrating. And let’s be real, it completely sucks.
But here's the thing: Life rarely goes the exact way we are planning it to go. This means, we need to learn how to deal with it otherwise we’ll constantly be knocked down time and time again.
I’m currently facing an instance where life is not going as planned. I feel like every single day I’m being tested: Am I going to let this knock me down?
Hell no.
But to be honest with you, it’s not that simple. Every single day has been a struggle. Every single day I start to feel myself slipping into that dark hole mentally and having to actively pull myself out. It’s a slippery slope and that’s why I’m paying extra attention to my mental health right now. There are actually seven things I’ve been doing that have been my saving grace…
1. I let myself feel what I’m feeling, but don’t let those feelings consume me.
I think it’s extremely important to let your feelings out. Nothing productive happens when you let them build up inside, nor when you cover them up with positivity.
Be honest with yourself about where you’re at mentally. If you’re mentally unwell, acknowledge it. Feel what you need to feel. Say what you need say. Cry if you need to cry. Your feelings are valid and it’s okay to feel them. It doesn’t make you weak, it makes you real.
With that being said, after you feel what you need to feel what you need to feel, you need to then move on. Feel your feelings so you can let go of the heaviness weighing you down and make space for better mental energy.
2. I embrace the mantra, “It is what it is”.
In most cases, when life doesn’t go as planned, there’s no amount of stress and anxiety that will change it. Stressing about it is simply a waste of energy. Your current life circumstance literally is what it is. You can’t change it, so just need to accept it.
The longer you live without accepting “what is”, the harder it is for you to move forward in your life. Without acceptance, you'll dwell in the past and in “what could have been”. But what good comes from that? None.
Nothing good will happen again until you’re in full acceptance. Once you reach this place, you’re not only able to have some peace of mind, but you’re able to look at your life with more clarity and are able to steer it in the direction you want it to go.
Let go of expectations you had for your life and accept where your life is now.
3. Focus on what I can control.
Yes, you need to accept things for what they are, but that doesn’t mean you live passively.
For me right now, I am on crutches and can't do all the things I love to do. I could chose not to accept my current circumstance and feel sorry for myself. Or, I could accept it for what it is, knowing it’s out of my control, and place my energy on what I can actually control.
My injury is out of my control but what I do to heal is within my control, my attitude about my injury is within my control, and what I do with my life while healing is within my control.
Whatever you’re going through right now, figure out what you can control and give 100% of your attention and energy to that – no matter how big or small it may be.
4. Find the silver lining.
It’s so easy to only focus on the bad things. I think our common response when life doesn’t go as planned is to heighten the bad and forget the good. But here’s the thing: There is always good to be found when we actually take the time to look for it.
There’s a quote from Amberly Lago I think perfectly describes the mentally we all need: No matter what happens, turn it into an opportunity.
For me, my current injury has left me all the time I need to build my business – something I've been meaning to do for a long time but haven’t dedicated the time to actually do it. Now, next year at this same time, my business will be leaps and bounds beyond where it would have been otherwise – allowing me even more freedom to live the life I want for myself. This is my silver lining.
Another example is my client Amy Purdy: She lost both of her legs at the age of 19. She could have lived the rest of her life with a “poor me” victim mentality. Instead, she found a great pair of prosthetics and became the most decorated Paralympic snowboarder and world-renowned motivation speaker. She’s literally living her absolute best life – a life she wouldn’t have lived otherwise. She did this through choosing to find the silver lining in her life circumstance and maximize it to the fullest.
You can do the same if you so choose.
5. I remind myself that “this too shall pass”.
One day, one month, one year, ten years from now, whatever you are experiencing will be over. It will no longer be your life circumstance. You’ll be in a different place, mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually, relationally, financially, or whatever it may be.
What you are experiencing right now will pass because nothing in this life is permanent – literally nothing. Everything is ever changing, your life circumstance included.
I personally find so much comfort in this. I know one day it will be a distant memory and I might even be able to giggle about it. When I’m going through the thick of it, I always reminder myself: One day I’ll look back at this moment and smile because I’ll know I made it through.
6. Just roll with it.
At the end of the day, you just need to roll with it. As Kute Blackson says, if you work with the universe, the universe will work with you. Don’t make life harder than it needs to be by resisting it. If you resist what is, life is going to resist giving you what you need. Instead just roll with it. Live in the excitement of where it’s going to take you. Trust that it’s going to take you somewhere greater.
I truly believe that no matter what happens, we are capable of turning it into an opportunity with the right mindset. I hope these seven things will help you cultivate the mindset you need to push through your current life circumstance and continue pushing for the life you want for yourself.